Life of the Party....

I went to a wonderful New Years party and several Holiday get-togethers only to realize I was rusty on the art of chatting with strangers. After careful critique of my misgivings at the parties and some thought as to how I would have chatted differently I have come up with a short list of safe areas to chat about with strangers, or somewhat new friends:

* Tell me how you know the host?
* Are you traveling anywhere over the holidays?
* Where did you go on your latest vacation?
* Where are you thinking about going on your NEXT vacation?
* What is your favorite local restaurant?
* What do you like best about your job?

Other tips I have learned when at social and business functions:
Listen more, speak less to be well liked. People love to speak about themselves. In social situations, be sure to ask others about their interests, work, opinions, etc. This will take the focus off of you. A side benefit of this approach is that you will invariably be viewed as a great conversationalist, even though you’ve said little or nothing!

Try some humor. Listen to a favorite comedian before leaving for the event. Begin taking note of the things that make you laugh. Pay attention to what others find humorous. You don’t have to be particularly quick-witted or a great storyteller in order to make others laugh. In fact, some of the funniest (and safest) material is that which is self-deprecating. As a side benefit this approach lets your listener know that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Current events can strike interesting conversation. Even with limited time, you can have a cursory knowledge of what’s happening in the world. Subscribe to a weekly news magazine or at least skim the headlines of a daily paper. You can even catch the news online these days! You don’t have to be an expert in order to casually refer to something that is newsworthy. Read up and study what’s new on the internet, books, news etc. What have you recently enjoyed? A trip to a space museum? Thai food? Your first opera? Fly-fishing? New (and attention-getting) experiences will always provide fodder for stimulating conversation. Always smile and be positive. Keep your comments upbeat and enthusiastic. People are instinctively drawn to positive conversation. And notice how quickly they will excuse themselves if you begin discussing your current health problems! Stay to the point sharing ever so lightly your thoughts. Share your true feelings for your friends who care. Brevity and humility go a long way in social situations.